Why is trying to take the kid anywhere in the car such a big deal? Sometimes it’s like getting out of the driveway takes more preparation than a space shuttle launch. Yesterday, I tried to take Piper to the babystore for some diapers. What can I say, potty training is still in progress. Regardless, this provided more stress than working for a day as an air-traffic controller.
I always like to change her diaper before we go out. She always likes to resist as much as she can. Then for some reason getting her shoes on is an ordeal. When that fight is over, I still have to get my shoes on. While I’m doing this she usually bangs her head into something and cries. After she calms down, we go downstairs so I can get my keys, then finally we get outside. She always tries to pick a flower on the way to the driveway. However, we don’t usually have a lot of flowers, so she ends up grabbing some kind of weed. Not wanting a fluffy weed all over the inside of my car, I have to get her to put it down on the ground. This takes a little coaxing.
Finally, I get her into the car and strap her into her car seat. Then I hear a hiss, as if somebody blew a gasket. Now she’s crying for her princess dolls (she can’t go anywhere without them). So I have to run inside and scour the house for the dolls, which takes longer than planned. When I give her the dolls, she smiles, but then I notice the cloud cover overhead has burned off and now it’s sunny outside. She usually cries when the sun is in her eyes, so I have to run into the house to get her sunglasses. They’re not out in the open, so I scour the house again. Except, whoops, they were out in the open after all. My bad. Finally, we’re off, and driving.
“Houston, we have lift-off.”
There is always a finite time-window for this. If it takes too long to get going, you might have to scrap the mission altogether. I’ve had to do that many times. Then it’s back inside the house. The time limit for this can be difficult to discern. However, it’s always touch and go for the stay-at-home parent doing five things at once.
Activate sound suppression water system.
Verify LH2 high point bleed valve closed.
Verify princess dolls.
Wait, no princess dolls?! Houston, we have a problem. There are no princess dolls in the cockpit. Repeat, there are no princess dolls in the cockpit!
Shuttle, this is Launch Control, power down the engines. This is a mission abort, repeat, this is a mission abort.
What ceremonies do you have to go through to get your child in your vehicle? Or are you one of the lucky ones?