The List of Unending Jobs That Will Kill Me

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Mowing the lawn yesterday, I realized that this job is unending. There are those chores that just never seem to end, like doing the dishes. There will always be dirty dishes. You’re not going to stop eating, so the dishes won’t stop getting dirty. Of course you can’t stop cleaning them, so the job never ends.  Mowing the lawn is like that too. You are never done. Oh, you might be done for the day, but yardwork is never really finished. There are always plants to cut back, weeds to pull, lawns to be mowed or watered. Something always has to be done.

I read a blog post last night about the word chores, and how the writer hated that word, and how it was like nails on a chalkboard. (Forgive me, I forgot where I read it. If you wrote that post and are reading this, message me and I will edit this here to credit you.) Personally, I use the words chores and jobs interchangeably, but I see what they mean. Either way, it’s not fun. Whatever you call them, sometimes I think they are going to kill me.

When my time does come, it will likely be because of one or more of the following chore-jobs:

  • Doing the dishes might kill me out of boredom. Either that, or the constant dishpan hands I have will crack worse than they usually do, and then I’ll just bleed to death.
  • Laundry will likely kill me out of exhaustion, from running up the stairs to get to the laundry area. Maybe someday a violently unbalanced load that shakes the whole house will have me jumping upstairs like an Olympic hurdler set on fire, and then I will simply trip and fall down the stairs.
  • Cleaning probably won’t kill me- it will just seem like it’s slowly killing me. Killing me softly with housework…killing meeeee, softly, with housework. Everybody sing it with me!
  • Yardwork could kill me because in the summer here it is something like 105 degrees outside. Someday dehydration will make me see things and I’ll just run over my foot with the mower. Actually, the yard I don’t mind, it’s the work part that I don’t like. (Now, just wait for a post from me in about three months called, “I Hate My Yard.”)

This article is the property of http://fivethingsatonce.com/

I would rather have to sit through a Justin Bieber concert- strapped into a chair with my eyes pried open like in  A Clockwork Orange. Then while mindlessly humming one of the songs as I walked to my car afterward, get beat up by a local high school football team. I would rather have all that happen than do yardwork.

And yet, every week I head outside to do just that. My main motivation is my daughter. I really just want to make things nice for her, so she has a great place to play when we are at home. She loves to go outside. She would stay out there all day if she could. That’s really why we bought this house, even though Piper wasn’t even here yet at the time. It’s funny that even before kids exist, they still affect your thoughts and plans. It’s like they were always here, and in a way that’s true. So yes, I’ll keep doing the chores and yardwork. But mostly for you, Little One.

What’s your least favorite chore? What motivates you to keep doing all that you do?

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10 thoughts on “The List of Unending Jobs That Will Kill Me

  1. Oh my goodnes, I think cleaning is the one that will do me in. It seems like after I just cleaned up an area, or put something away, something just took it’s place on the floor / counter / table / dresser. It doesn’t end!

    1. Yeah, I like how when I am doing the dishes, my wife will come and somehow bring even more dishes and put them in the sink. Where did those dishes even come from?!

  2. I actually really enjoy yard work. I started doing when my husband began traveling a lot, and found it a lot more satisfying than housework. I’m pretty sure that laundry procreates when we have our backs turned. There are always never ending piles of it here.

    1. The good thing about yardwork is getting out and getting fresh air. And yes, I think laundry has learned to replicate itself. I believe that’s the plot of the lost unprinted Michael Crichton novel.

  3. Oh, I don’t like any kind of work, at all. I like reading and eating chocolate. But things motivate me.
    1. I want my kids to have a more energetic attitude than I have hiding inside.
    2. I like having a clean house and a nice place to play outside, like Piper.
    3. I keep thinking of all the trashed houses and yards and lives in Japan and I don’t feel so bad about having all this nice stuff to take care of.

  4. Where do I begin with the chores that I hate most…all of them! 😉 If I had to pick just one, ok two it would be putting laundry away and cleaning the bathrooms. The bathroom cleaning being the bigger hassle for me. I have one sister so I was brought up all girls in the house with the exception of my dad. So after potty training my son I learned how gross little boys can be and I think that is when my hatred for cleaning the bathrooms started! Or was it when he peed all over the toilet, toilet paper, shower curtain and the floor the first time? haha!

  5. Ironing is definitely my bugbear – I’m sure there are more creases in the clothes when I’ve finished than there were when I started! Oh and cooking. Yes, I hate cooking – I only eat to live, not live to eat.

  6. House chores/jobs generally suck. Haha. I recently had to relive the torture of hand washing our dishes for a couple nights because I kept forgetting to buy more dishwasher detergent. And well I don’t mind the laundry but I loathe ironing! Ugh. I try to just clean and such as I go. Kind of a I’ll clean the bathroom counter while brushing my teeth sort of approach. Seems less daunting then doing everything in the house all at once.

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